Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Help me help you realize you are a moron
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
