I'm lost and stupid without you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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