im having a threesome with these popsicles
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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