hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
