I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
50% drunk capacity currently
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
