he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
