I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
