Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
