He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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