it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
