ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i think i just lost a toe
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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