What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
