how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
