This girl is more easily done than said...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
