you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
