just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
