"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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