you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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