i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
