oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
