Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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