It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
