I can text with my tongue
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
