Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
