"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
