Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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