Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
