I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
