But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is wine microwaveable?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just had sex on a roof
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
