Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
