You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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