He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
