everyone is single if you try hard enough
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
