I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont even know how to be here
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i out mim tonsoeep
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