I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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