I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
