Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
