Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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