Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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