Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
