Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
