Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
