I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
