I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
