Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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