I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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