is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
