bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
