i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
