But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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