I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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