We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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