More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have post one night stand depression
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