So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
