Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
