What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im six kinds of drunk right now
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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