either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
