Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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