saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
