i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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