i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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