i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
