I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
