I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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