hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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