you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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